Last week, I finished Whole30, the nutritional program where you give up dairy, grains, added sugar, preservatives, legumes, and alcohol for 30 days. I didn’t think I’d make it, to be totally transparent, and while I did have one intentional mishap (of course I had to drink a beer at a Dierks Bentley concert, c’mon), I’m proud of myself for making it completely through a diet-cleanse for the first time.
And the last time.
Turns out, I was already kinda healthy and balanced before doing Whole30, but it took going through the program to fully understand that, so I am grateful to have experienced it. I’ve always joked that, because I workout so often but love good food and a glass of wine with dinner, if I ever stopped eating junk and ate healthy for a long period of time, I’d probably turn into a twig.
Health and wellness trends pretty much mean nothing to me. Plain old health and wellness, period, are super important in my world, but it’s trends themselves that I’m skeptical about. I’ve jumped on board to plenty of them in the past (juice cleansing, Bikram yoga, juice cleansing, carb cutting, and juice cleansing, to name a few), but I usually end up burnt out or frustrated or on the verge of insanity (is this normal?) from a lack of results.
Speaking of juice cleanses, if you’ve ever done one, you know what I mean by feeling frustration by the end. There is nothing more downright ANNOYING than depriving your body of solid (beautiful, delicious, decadent) food for three-plus days while drinking fruits and vegetables in the hopes of slimming down and detoxifying your body.
I always came out of a cleanse feeling extra-toxic, ironically, from the hangriness that had been stewing inside me for those few days. Plus, any weight I might have lost by starving myself from real nutrition always came back immediately, and then some…
Because obviously you need to treat yourself with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for making it through a juice cleanse.
Recently, I cut up my two credit cards, started paying for (most) things with cash only, and made a BUDGET — like, a budget that I actually use. How boring am I? Stay with me here, because I think some folks out there in a similar life stage to mine might need to hear this.
Cutting the credit cards was the weirdest, and hardest, part of my money transformation. When I was a sophomore in college, I opened an envelope from the bank that I thought was a statement for my debit card, which was probably over-drafted. Inside, I found instead a shiny credit card, accompanied by a note saying I had 700 whole dollars I was allowed to spend.
Boy, did I spend.
At first, I was like, “K, I need to be smart about this. People wrack up credit card debt faster than they can say ‘Nordstrom anniversary sale.’ I’m just gonna use this on big things and emergencies.” Riiiiight.
I am a strong believer that Tuesday is the absolute worst day of the week. I promise it beats some people’s Sunday blues and Monday post-weekend depression. It’s just a pimple protruding obnoxiously in the middle of otherwise pretty flawless skin. (I really wish I could’ve came up with a better metaphor for that, but you know what? We’re going with it.)
Tuesday can suck it, and here’s why. Monday. You’re a little off-focus, but also a little relaxed and a lot rested up from a weekend of doing whatever you want (if you’re living right). It’s just an extension of Sunday, but you know, into the workweek. You’re more carefree at work, laughing in the break room with colleagues as you fill your fourth coffee mug of the morning. The smell of weekend’s freedom is still in the air; life is good.
The next blemish of a day we’ll skip for now, and we’re on to Wednesday. Hump day! Ah, I love a good hump day. You’ve made it halfway through. Even if you’re having a week from hell, you can tell yourself you’ve made it this far. Only a couple days till you’re home free! You’ll feel glorious, pumped up to finish out the week strong. And next up is Thursday.
Thursday is the day before Friday, which is essentially the weekend. You can see the light in the distance; the horizon is gleaming. You are pret-ty much at the end of the week. Everyone else at work is getting a little tired and antsy, too, so people are clocking out and heading to happy hour at 4:45, and so are you. If you stay up a little later than your usual bedtime on Thursday, who cares? Tomorrow is Friday, which means the next day is Saturday, and you’re about 36 hours from sleeping in as late as you’d like.
Only weekday left is Friday, and as we’ve covered briefly, Friday is the weekend, at least in my mind. I have an extra pep in my step and might splurge on an almond-milk latte on my way to work because alas! I’ve made it to the other side, and caffeine is always an acceptable way to celebrate. So the only day left we haven’t gone through is Tuesday, because Tuesday is gross. It doesn’t have any air of weekend clinging to it, and you can’t even tell yourself you’re almost done. Nope, you still have three honking days until a big, fat brunch on Saturday.
So, um, anyway. Have a nice Tuesday. I’d really rather be in (the best) sweats (ever) on my couch, so here’s to a day of dreaming about the other days.
“Namast’ay In Bed” shirt: Aeropostale (On sale!) // Sweat pants: Target // Slippers (I live for a fake-Ugg slipper): Target (Also on sale!)