Things I Hope I Never Get Sick Of

Hello. Happy almost-end-of-March. I’m having writer’s block and can’t think of any charming stories or witty pieces of advice for this week’s post, so instead, here’s a list of things I hope I never get tired of — and, you know what? It was oddly therapeutic and even a little challenging coming up with this list. So, maybe I do have some advice (because I’m bossy like that): Try coming up with your list of things you hope to treasure forever, and then actively add those things into your day-to-day life. I know that’s what I’ll be doing with mine (‘specially that first one).

A good glass of wine. Or three.

Listening to live music.

People-watching in airports.

Homemade sundaes.

A sweaty yoga class with good music.

Cracking bad jokes, even if they only make one person laugh. (Even if that one person is me.)Read More

Three Words To Change Your Life

I am a big, BIG listener to and lover of podcasts. I nanny during the day, so — while I can do baby talk and love hanging out with my best 13-month-old pal — sometimes I need a little more stimulating “conversation” during my weekdays. Podcasts might not provide the back-and-forth of your typical conversation, but at least I can get a laugh or learn something interesting throughout the day.

I subscribe to funny ones, like My Favorite Murder (you might not think murder is comical, per se, but the hosts somehow tell these real-life horror stories in an unabashedly fascinated and, yes, humorous way); inspirational ones, like The Skinny Confidential: Him & Her (Lauryn Evarts is the creator behind the blog, The Skinny Confidential, and the banter with her husband, Michael, on their podcast is all at once informational, relatable, and hilariously real); and mindless, fun ones, like Straight Up with Stassi (she’s my favorite Bravolebrity and always has interesting guests and behind-the-scenes stories that I live for).

The latter is what I was listening to a couple weeks ago on the treadmill when I was happily surprised with a more serious topic than Stassi normally goes into. In this particular episode, she brought on a life coach who gave advice on working through anxiety, not letting others’ opinions get to you, and a simple method to understanding your place in the world. The life coach said that sometimes we get bogged down by other people’s expectations, and even our own expectations about how we think our lives should be going or how we should be dealing with things. (Raise your hand if you’re thinking, YEP, because I sure was.)

And then we get disappointed when life doesn’t go according to plan, or when we fall short in some way. So, she explained that we should all have a phrase to come back to when we’re feeling lost or out of sorts, no matter if it has to do with your personal life, work, relationships, or even just being stressed out in traffic. This phrase should be your home base, your reason for what you do and how you act in every situation and every second of the day.

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Distance and Heart

This week, my boyfriend John is traveling in Israel to consult with startups in Tel Aviv as a part of a credit for his business school classes. We’ve been dating for just more than two-and-a-half years now and living together since last July, and his heart is the greatest complement to my own. So you could say I’m missing the dude pretty big right now.

Where I’m stubborn and impatient, he’s thoughtful and compassionate. Where he procrastinates or takes great care and time to accomplish certain tasks, I make moves forward and fast. When I don’t want to cook (which is often) he gets to work in the kitchen, but not before making sure I have a glass of wine in hand. Where I can chat up anyone and become best friends in five minutes flat, he’s more reserved, quiet, and introspective in social situations. He’s a school person and a history buff; my favorite TV channel is Bravo…

Sometimes I wonder and even feel insecure about our vast differences — in personality, in upbringings, in ways we do things and pursue goals — but then I think about how balanced and how safe and just at ease I feel when I’m with him. How he’s the only person who can calm me down in about 30 seconds when I’m upset, even the times I’m upset with him. He wants to do well by everyone and treat people with a gentle kindness, and I love that in him.

He can drive me half freaking crazy when he won’t get off TexAgs or group chat with his man-pals, but I could tell him I want to drive across the country for a book idea or open my own yoga studio and he’d back me up a thousand percent. I come up with crazy ideas all the time, and he never once has said or made me feel like I couldn’t achieve whatever new scheme I want to pursue.

His support is everything to me and my favorite quality in him. As confident as I am (most of the time) with my capabilities and path in life, I can attest that having someone else’s complete faith in you adds a whole new element of motivation, inspiration, and drive. It just lights a bigger fire knowing not only you think you can do outstanding, wonderful, important things, but someone else does, too.

I’ve been thinking about all of this in his absence this week, and, as though this isn’t already the cheesiest post ever, I’ve realized all that talk about distance and the heart growing fonder is kind of true. We haven’t spent ten days apart, I think, in all the time we’ve dated — so, while I do relish being pushed back into my autonomy this week, I can’t say I’m not looking forward to his plane’s arrival Sunday night.

I will say, however, this week has already been made a whole lot more fun and eventful than it could’ve been. My sister is in town to keep me company and drink all the wine that my normal wine-drinking buddy is missing. My heart’s feeling full, even if half of it’s in a different country.

This post has been in partnership with Winc, a company we’ve used and loved (and drank many bottles of) for two years. Sign up for Winc using my unique URL (trywinc.com/frecklesfigs) to receive 4 bottles of wine for $30. A few of my favorites are Upswell Cabernet, Alchymist Noir Red Blend, and One from The Quiver Torrontes. This wine is GOOD quality and affordable and comes straight to your front door. What more could you ask for?

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How to Be Less of a Controlling Assh*le

(Speaking from experience.)

The other morning, I woke up and started getting ready: washed my face, brushed my teeth. I walked back into the bedroom to get dressed, and John was still asleep. It was 7:30 on a Monday, so I woke him up thinking surely he needed to be doing something. I proceeded to make coffee and breakfast tacos, and then shouted to John from the kitchen that I’d made breakfast. No answer. I texted him a picture of the tacos in a stance of stubborn passive-aggression. No answer. After a few minutes, I was fuming at the thought of this breakfast I had so thoughtfully thrown together getting cold. I went to the bottom of the stairs and called his name.

“John? I made breakfast!” (How sweet of me.)

I could hear in his groggy reply that he had still been asleep, but he hopped out of bed and came downstairs. We talked a little about our days ahead, and I asked what his schedule was like. His first class was at 11-something, and then he had another class that afternoon and a group meeting.

“Are you gonna workout today?” I asked. He said yeah, probably, but it would most likely be that afternoon.

My mind started crafting this story about what he’d do as soon as I left for work in a few minutes. The fictional story went that he would sit on the couch for a couple hours until his class, watching golf, drinking coffee, scrolling social media — and suddenly I was so mad at him that I could hardly look at him as I said goodbye for the day. As we parted ways, I pushily, irritatedly suggested maybe he should just get his workout out of the way this morning. And he did. As soon as he acquiesced so easily and kindly, it clicked almost instantaneously that I have a problem.

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